Whoops, I did it again

I know, I know.

I said I would keep up with this thing, and look at me now.

Sorry.

The last few months have been harder than expected....now there's an understatement. It's taken me far too long to realise that I push myself way too hard. Work/study/craft/play/music/life....I can't believe that I am still learning that I don't have to fill every minute of every day to make life worthwhile. Something had to give, and this time it was my OU course. I cried for about three days solid. 

But. It feels like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Suddenly, I have time to do all the other things I wanted to do. And it's amazing how much crafting you can get done when you don't have to spend 16 hours a week studying Shakespeare.

Yes, these are crafty projects including a cross-stitch first started in 2001. There's a story in that, and I'll tell you another time. There has also been knitting, crochet, and many things involving paper and paint. And, for the first time in about a year and a half, today I played the piano. 

My list of goals for 2012 has been radically revised....but only in terms of timescale. I will keep reminding myself that it is ok to take things slowly. To be selfish in what I do and how I spend my time. I will get there in the end, but the joy is in the journey.

Sidetracked

I can never work on one thing at a time. My last crochet project was going really well, and then I had some sudden inspiration for a new colour pattern and got sidetracked. This one is much more spring-like, with pretty pastel colours and a splash of hot pink and aqua. Also, a lot of white. It's the same ripple pattern but the colours make it look completely different. 

This blanket is also whizzing along, but I hope I manage to finish it before I start something else!

Ah, that's better

Surprisingly hard to photograph (isn't everything at 8am?)

I am 23 rows in and loving the colour combinations here. And the more I do, the more snuggly it is across my lap. Perfect.

Work in progress

I have come to a sort-of conclusion that maybe knitting is not for me. I love it, I really do - but nothing I have made this year has turned out right at all. It's very disheartening.

Crochet, on the other hand, is much better. It grows quickly and in the blanket pattern I'm using I only have to count up to four, and even I can manage that.

So why, in my little pile of works-in-progress, do I have two knitting and two crochet?
The knitting is down to sizing issues. Neither of those pieces are finished and I already know one is going to be too big and the other too small. I am too close to the end to give up completely, but my motivation for finishing them is distinctly lacking at the moment.
The crochet is all down to colour. There is some incredible inspiration on the internet, and when it comes to choosing my own colour combinations I get overwhelmed and then keep second-guessing myself. These are the remains of two blankets that I started, decided I didn't like, and have left in the pile because I couldn't bear to frog them all.

The good news is that I have started a third blanket. I finally decided that I had to STOP looking at other people's work, pick my colours from my stash and stop buying more yarn, make a plan and get on with it. And remember that the 'look' of the blanket changes with each row...I've just done two rows in purple, but the overall look will not be very purple at all. I've done about 16 colours so far (two rows of each) and without wanting to tempt fate, it's coming along nicely. Fingers crossed this one might actually progress to being a finished item.

First make of the year

I have about half a dozen draft blog posts sitting here, waiting to be finished. I started a review of last year, and then I started thinking about what I want from this year, and each post was more rambling than the last.

However, I think I have summed it up:
2010 - cancer
2011 - no cancer

Do I need to say any more?

And so...on to the first of this year's crocheted items. I shouldn't be making things. I should be packing because I move in two weeks. I should be getting an early night because I haven't been sleeping well. I should be reading my study guides because my OU course starts in a month. Whatever. The 'shoulds' have never stopped me before.

This is a pretty simple scarf recently published in the crochet magazine I read. Chains and double crochets are super-easy, the only complicated thing is the 306 chain you need to start with. I lost count every time. The lovely effect comes from using a variegated yarn - this is a yarn which normally knits up to produce a fake fair-isle effect, but when crocheted comes out in beautiful stripes. This one is mum's - I'm working on one for Mindy and then one for myself. If I do mine last, it doesn't matter if I get bored and stop halfway through ;)

I need an elf

I absolutely need a Christmas elf right now. It feels like I have a million and one things to do and it's only by obsessively writing lists that I can keep track. Hopefully, by the time we get to this point next week I will feel much calmer.

In the meantime...

Rudolph (plus some snowmen friends) has just landed in the shop. I haven't done much crochet for a while so it's been good to get yarn-happy again. He isn't available online, but please email me if you are interested - £9.99 plus postage. We can work something out :)

I am being pretty good at keeping up with JYC but my photography skills deserted me this morning so all I have is some blurry pictures. I'll try again tomorrow. There's always tomorrow, right?

Crocheting quickly to keep my head warm

When I was told I was going to need chemotherapy, my first thought was "but I'll lose my hair".

Mindy is the knitter in the family and she immediately started making me some great hats. I have a slouchy hat, a beanie hat, and the cutest multicoloured hat with ear flaps.

As it turned out, the chemotherapy didn't make me lose my hair. But I have discovered that I love hats and it is super-thrilling to be able to make my own now that I know how to crochet.

This one nearly wasn't such a happy ending. I started it about four times and kept going wrong. In the end I adapted the pattern, changed my hook size, persevered and managed to finish it. Then I hated it. It didn't look like the original pattern and I was so disappointed. I nearly undid the whole thing, but fortunately realised that this was probably because it was late at night and I had crochet fatigue. I decided to leave it until the morning, and I'm so glad I did - now I love it! It's warm and snuggly and I love the colour. I've been wearing it almost constantly and have had loads of compliments.

Mindy is also responsible for introducing me to ravelry. Another brilliant internet resource, another great way to waste time. I especially love their projects feature which lets me show off all the details of this hat.

Full disclosure

Don't you just hate those blogs where people talk about how perfect their lives are? And everything they make turns out just *so*.

My blog was never going to be one of those. I know I share lots of things I've made that I'm really pleased with, but in the interest of full disclosure may I present:

This is the first hat I've ever crocheted. And it may well be the last. 200+ people on Ravelry have made it and I am apparently the first to turn it into this:

I can't even bear to post the full photo. I don't want my face associated with this. It balances on the top of my head like a varigated fungus, lumpy and misshapen and totally the wrong size.

In the original post it looks adorable. Even allowing for a few variations, I am not sure how I got this result. The worst thing is that each stitch is a puff stitch, which requires seven loops around the hook which you then pull the yarn through. So it's a fair few hours of work here. The only saving grace is that I haven't fastened off, so I am just about to pull the end and undo the whole damn thing...

Just too cute

These are the 'good' days, the ones in between treatments, the ones when I feel (mostly) better and can actually do things. There aren't enough days like this at the moment. I am impatiently waiting for the time when all my days are like this.

And on the good days, I make things. I've moved on a bit from making blankets, and now I actually follow a pattern. This one I even had to edit because the original made me lose a stitch at the end of every row. It's never good when you realise your rectangular piece of crochet is turning into a triangle.

I love the pattern with its neat zig-zag, and purple is one of my favourite colours. I'm pretty sure I shall end up like my sister Mindy, who is always knitting in shades of pink and purple. They're just so pretty :)

And I even lined it. Pink with polka dota. Little hand-stitches all the way round. A button on the front to make a clasp. Cuteness overload!

Sleepless nights

Going to bed early has never held much appeal for me. What if I miss out on something exciting? Being ill, despite the fact that it makes me tired, has made me even less likely to go to bed at a reasonable hour. Too much to do, too little time. Plus, insomnia is actually a side-effect of my tablets so I have a legitimate excuse for staying awake till 3am.

Apart from watching lots of late-night TV (when the programmes with subtitles and sign language come on, you know it's late) what could I possibly keep myself occupied with at that hour?

Crocheted miniature pumpkins. Naturally. Now available in the shop.

Happy, happy, happy

It started last November. I needed something to do, something to keep me occupied through endless hours of sitting and waiting.
Mum had tried to teach me to crochet before, but I'd never really got the hang of it. I knit, but crochet somehow seemed...wrong. Where was the other needle? How could something that started as a chain end up as a square? Why are there so many loops?

Suddenly, this time it clicked. It made sense. And so, armed with a pattern for a basic granny square, I chose a few colours and got started.

I didn't have a plan, I just kept making squares. Eventually, I started to put them together in some kind of order. Random seemed like too much hard work, so I settled on a nice, regular, even pattern. And eventually I had a small blanket that kept my lap warm.

Small wasn't really enough. I had big ambitions for this blanket. So I added some more squares and kept going.

And so, 150 squares later - it's finished.
Eight balls (I think) of yarn.
Over 20,000 stitches.
Far more late nights than I care to admit.

Finishing this blanket - finishing anything makes me happy. I love being 'crafty' and I always have some project or other on the go, but it isn't often that I get the sense of completion that I have with this. When I started, I knew what I wanted but I didn't know how to get there. As my piles of squares grew and I started joining them together, I could see my idea emerging and I was so excited to continue. There were times when the chemo messed up my head so much that I couldn't even string two stitches together, but I kept going. There were times when I felt too sick, or too miserable, or was in too much pain to focus on this, but I didn't give up.

For me, this is more than just a simple crocheted blanket. It represents time spent with Mum, learning how to crochet. It represents frustration, perseverance and endurance. It will always remind me of a really horrible time in my life, but the lessons I've learned from this are all good:

Handmade makes me happy.
Learning new skills makes me happy.
Keep going and finish, because that makes me happy too.

Now...off to apply that last lesson to the many half-finished papercrafting items sitting on my shelf!